kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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