Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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