Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I faked an abortion last night.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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