I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
