For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
this beer tastes like vomit already
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
