I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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