You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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