So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
