I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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