Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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