p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
