is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
