Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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