I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
someone owes me an orgasm
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
