How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
