forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
