so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
