evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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