I look better un-naked...
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it was like eating out sand paper
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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