I wish I could teleport
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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