Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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