Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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