whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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