This girl is more easily done than said...
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
