My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
