Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
