i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
