normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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