I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
