my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
