Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Couch. On fire.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
