i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
