guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
