It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dear god my vagina.
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