So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
