ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
