Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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