all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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