Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
