Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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