So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
