just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
