your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
