He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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