Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
