i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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