So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
