i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I have feelings that need drinking.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
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