Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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