Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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