he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think I am morally bankrupt
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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